Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
