And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
your room smells of hookers.
And success
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
