erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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