blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
