coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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