Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
