Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
