she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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