I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
