I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
