I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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