i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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