i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
