i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
now i know why i became what i already was.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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