She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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