Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
