She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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