Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
