i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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