You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize