Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
