the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
