Me too!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
