Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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