The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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