Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
