Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
