Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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