out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
