so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
