just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
