No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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