I need help removing her.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
