You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
