My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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