Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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