i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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