Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
