There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
