I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
