Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
