I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
