what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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