The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
