You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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