Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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