He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Bring me that man meat
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
