Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
