He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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