so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
