Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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