R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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