So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize