Don't you send me to vm
I accidentally had phone sex last night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
PANTIES FOUND
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