just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My balls are so social today.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
