Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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