She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
