Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I need help removing her.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
