she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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