Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
