If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
