new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
