What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
