It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
