The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
