i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
